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    Chutes and Ladders

    October 30, 2018

    A few days ago, I had this thought that life is kind of like standing in the middle of a ring of knife throwers at the circus. And I legitimately started writing about that, except

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    • A slow, snowy Saturday morning filled with many wonderful things, including: rising bread, simmering soup, and the magical feeling of freedom that comes with the start of a three-day weekend.
    • When you live in a state with one hundred Winter Weather Advisories for every one Winter Weather Event, days like today are especially nice. Welcome, actual winter. We’ve been waiting for you.
    • A reminder for myself and anyone else who may be similarly afflicted by Goal Setting FOMO at this time of year: There are plenty of wise, self-disciplined people in the world who thrive on systems of self-improvement. I am not one of them. And yet, despite the fact that 90% of the notebooks I own are filled with two pages of robust goals and nothing else, I’m still tempted to keep making new versions of old goals—all as doomed for failure as the last. Goals aren’t bad. But for me, most of the time, goals make me believe that my life will be better if I _______. The blank ranges from drinking more green smoothies to meeting with a financial planner. They’re all good things. But they’re not the main things. And they become unhelpful things when they subtly parade around as the keys to unlocking a better life. So here’s the goal I keep coming back to, because I keep needing the reminder: I want to stop trying to force my life into a marginally better state, and instead, start paying better attention. I want to be present and honest and wholly focused on seeing the good. I want to be less concerned with becoming a better version of myself and more concerned with being my actual self, and experiencing my actual life. My actual life—right now, not in some improved future state—is already beautiful. And I miss the beauty most when I cater to the belief that I need to do more to make the most of it. It’s far more likely that I need to do less, and appreciate more.
    • May your days be merry and bright. And may all your hot chocolates be topped with floating peppermint meringues. (Thanks for this, @tori_bakos.)
    • Chai shortbread. The perfect cookie to have at night with tea. Or for an afternoon snack. Or with coffee for breakfast. Basically there’s never not a good time to eat these. I know because I’ve tested all of the times.
    • “Happiness of heart can never be measured out and bundled up; it's intangible. We keep running after it, grasping for it, and the heat of our running so seldom brings it closer. But now and then there may be a moment. We look at something and know it is good and beautiful. Those moments are happiness.” – Gladys Bagg Taber, an all-the-time favorite but especially so at this time of year

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